It’s 5:37 am and I just woke up. Let me paint a picture for you: My face is the smeared remains of mascara and beer drool.

similar to this, sans weapon

My hair looks like it was assaulted by a crimping iron but I assume that’s natural when you wake up with a towel half on your head and half draped off the side of a futon. Clearly, it was vital for me to shower after I got home from happy hour.

Alexis is struggling even worse. She’s still recovering, so the whiskey damage has yet to be calculated.

She called me yesterday, ironically, at 5am and spoke in soprano pitch rather than understandable English. That is not an exaggeration, her voice literally reached and maintained a pitch I have never heard before. At one point, completely out of the blue, she said, “ohhh fuck me. All intelligence went out the window three shots of whiskey ago,”

Thursday nights/Friday mornings tend to be rough for us. So on Fridays we’re going to post some of our favorite articles, videos, etc, that we found/wasted time at work with the week before.

Read Alexis’ introduction below and head on over to Seattle Weekly to read Maggie Savarino Dutton’s article and get a feel for what Alexis goes through every night at work.

-Anastasia Beam