Even though I am single, I am not one of those bitter single women. I actually kind of like the holiday. Mainly because of the pretty colors (pink, white, red – who could ask for more bright and vibrant colors.) And the chocolate. Granted it does bum me out from time to time that I am single and that the only Valentine’s Day that I did celebrate with a boyfriend was rewarded with epic humiliation.
To be honest, I quite enjoy being single. However, one of these days I’ll have to hang up my slutty outfits and stop drinking excessively and actually embark on a meaningful relationship, but today is not that day. So until then, I will continue living wildly and enjoy the adventures that come my way.
Moment of reflection over…
So it’s that time of year again, when significant others fret over what to get their loved ones and the single people either cry alone watching movies or mock this holiday relentlessly. I am super glad I don’t have to buy anyone anything. Instead I will be joining up with my single girlfriends for booze, food and movies. Should be a good time. I will try not to hit the martinis too hard this year…
Happy VD.
-Love Alexis
Filed under: Friday
Yesterday, my Pandora R&B channel suprised me with some Journey in the form of Don’t Stop Believin’. Journey….on the R&B station….
Major Pandora Fail.
Similar to my Pandora experience, FAIL Blog is a pretty good time killer and good for a laugh.
Happy Friday.
Filed under: Friday
The drunk college girl in me wants to think all the texts from Texts From Last Night are real, but the angry adult who took four trains just to get to work knows better. Either way, Texts From Last Night is a fun time killer.
- (843): Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
- (407): i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star…
- (919): so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I’ll let you know when one of my drunken texts makes the site.
Happy Friday.
Filed under: Friday
Alexis is still recovering from sixty plus hours of drinking. We figured it is only appropriate to give a little preview of her story for Monday. Enjoy and happy friday.
I need to complain for a hot second. Fuck the dirty old man who blatantly and creepily checked out my ass this morning. I’m wearing my pre-laundry jeans that every neighborhood tomboy owns. While I do realize my ass looks fantastic all the time, this morning really wasn’t the optimal time to stare at it blatantly with that creepy smile plastered across your damn face.
I’m all for checking out strangers, but for the love of god let’s be suave about it.
So, we signed up for twitter. We tweet now. Actually, we try to tweet now.
You should follows us, then we’ll follow you and we’ll all be best friends forever.
Happy Friday
Filed under: Friday
Take a look at this picture:
Looks just like an average fire-truck red t-shirt, right?
K, let’s enlarge it:
Let this picture sit with you for the weekend because lord knows Alexis is going to need that time to write up the story behind it.
Happy Friday
I have mixed feelings about Lindsay Lohan. Alexis just couldn’t give a shit about her, but I get daily updates from Jezebel about Lindsay’s fights with Mark Ronson’s sister (I will refer to her as “Mark Ronson’s sister” because he is ten thousand times more awesome than Sam) so I’m kind of invested now. Damn.
Far be it for me to judge her life choices because, to be quite frank, we make similar decisions; she just has a lot more money and a few more cameras around.
But this video Ms. Lohan did, poking fun at the recent rumors of her bat shit crazy break up, reminds me of Mean Girls Lohan. Who doesn’t love that movie and who didn’t love her in it? She was great.
So high five to you, Ms. Lohan. Thanks for taking time out of your busy attention-seeking days to make a video that kept me occupied momentarily at work.
Happy Friday
Dear Ashton Kutcher:
You are a baby.
Welcome to womanhood. By the way, which do you think hurts more: waxing a chest or waxing lady parts?
Enough said.
Happy Friday.
-Anastasia and Alexis
Alexis drank a boatload last night and made various bad decisions. I think she’s longing for the days when her biggest concern was if she should wear the purple or zebra print slap bracelet.
Some of my favorite things about childhood: Chuck E. Cheese, Big Wheels, nap time, TGIF, the BeDazzler and Where The Wild Things Are. Oh and look at that! They made a movie of Where The Wild Things Are (I’m currently working on a BeDazzler meets the Big Wheel treatment, so look for that in theaters soon).
As Rob Corddry said, if this doesn’t give you the chills you are dead inside.
Happy Friday
-Anastasia and Alexis
Time to put down that bottle of Patron.
After mastering the hilariously overplayed dick-in-a-box routine, it appears Justin Timberlake is now taking on the
lucrative business of becoming a master distiller.
As if we really need another reason to take our pants off for Justin.
Nope, he doesn't need the tequila to get us naked.
On a different note, we had a lousy week. Would you believe that some people out there just don’t get a kick out of debauchery and don’t find our blog particularly amusing?
We know. We were shocked, too. Srsly.
But we have been getting a tiny bit of attention on Facebook lately, so if you want to help cheer us up, feel free to post the blog on your facebook account. We don’t want your drunken, slutty friends to miss out on the fun either, do we?
Happy Friday. Drink one or seven for us this weekend.
-Anastasia and Alexis
