“Tylenol PM, meet Anastasia. Anastasia, Tylenol PM.
It’s nice to meet you, Mr. PM, (I assume ‘medicine’ is grammatically male).
May I call you PM?”
This is a brief summation of the conversations I had with a bottle of Tylenol PM every night after a few glasses of wine.
Reflecting on my decision to self medicate, I now realize if I had read WebMD’s article entitled “5 Surprising Reasons You’re Gaining Weight”, I may have decided on the bottle of wine as sleep aid of choice. Instead, however, I chose the antihistamine laden cocktail of Tylenol PM and wine to rest my head every night. Cue the fifteen pound weight gain, excessive alcoholism, random hook ups with less than desirable men, multiple pity parties and twelve absolutely pathetic months in which I put my liver through the unfortunate task of filtering my bad decisions.
It would be unfair of me to blame this period of boundless alcoholism in my life on my breakup with the ex boyfriend. I will, however, blame it on a combination of the breakup, my first experiences with the “real world”, a miserable job (filled with intriguing but batshit insane coworkers), and sheer boredom that lead to my part-time job of hitting the sauce frequently.
We are barely into the second month of 2009 and I have to say this month has been a complete shit show for me. Alexis and I were on the phone the other day pondering what my next moves will be. So far, for 2009, I have the following (potentially self destructive) actions under my belt: temporary alcoholism, temporary anorexia due to alcoholism, complete lack of exercise, total irresponsible fiscal spending and finally I went out and got a tattoo pretty much on a whim. I’ve sort of been a little slutty, too. Wonder what February and the rest of 2009 hold for me.
And so we begin our journey into my debauchery and embarrassment. I say “we” and “our” because by the end of this you’ll be like family, won’t you?
Leave a Comment so far
Leave a comment
