Filed under: this and that | Tags: alexis, anastasia, dating, hookah, sex
So…Alexis and I went on a date once and we’re both ready for the truth to come out. It was eerily similar to the plot of Lady and the Tramp (I the lady, obviously; she the tramp).
The night started out fairly innocent: dinner and drinks with a mutual friend. Sure, we shared stolen glances across the dinner table, but of course that’s to be expected. Our friend pussied out and wanted to go home early, but I think we were both secretly pleased. We parted ways with our friend and strolled down St. Marks street to our favorite hookah bar for a nightcap.
To be honest, that hookah bar is actually a dump with piece of shit owners and creepy-ass waiters, yet for some reason we still managed to frequent it every weekend for a year. We must have had “LESBIAN LOVERS’ written all over our faces when we walked through the door because the creeper waiter seated us at the most tiny, dimly lit, romantic table in the whole joint. We sat cheek to cheek on the hard wooden bench. It was classic.
In the beginning it was funny but our forced date quickly became awkward and uncomfortable. I couldn’t reach for more alcohol without brushing my elbow against breast. And when I grabbed my purse? Let’s just say I was happy Alexis wasn’t wearing a skirt that night.
The hookah ended up being terrible and we both got physically sick (not from our accidental date, however). To this day we theorize the waiter laced the tobacco with a roofie in an effort to have a two-thirds passed out threesome with us in some Bed-Stuy apartment. After half a beer and four puffs on the hookah, we decided it would be best to call it a night, but we still had our nightcap…
just like this, all night long.
Just kidding.
Turns out we like men.
-Anastasia Beam and Alexis Patron
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[...] We decided to hit up a big old lesbian bar called the Cubby Hole in the village. Tentative, after a shot of tequila, a beer, half a gin and tonic and lots of convincing, I decided to give it a shot. What could it hurt? We got to the bar around eleven, and the place was crawling with lesbians and a line halfway down the block. We wait for no one, so we headed to an equally gay and fantastic bar down the street ironically located next to the bar Alexis and I had our first awkward date at. [...]
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